‘I faced many challenges before our marriage ’
There is ability in disability, says Mrs. Bolanle Tolulope Longe. A graduate of Computer Science / Economics from Obafemi Awolowo University [OAU] Ife, Osun state. She was disabled at two, spent less than three years in primary school, passed her SS 3Certificate while in JSS2 and gained admission to read Computer studies in two universities same year . She recently married to a civil engineer. Taiwo Abiodun met her
She was born without deformity as she walked with her two legs until tragedy struck when she was two years old she could not stand or walk on her two legs again. Since then she had been using clutches to aid her movement. Yet , she refused to give up. She remains undaunted, she was hopeful and set to conquer the world .That is Bola , a physically challenged Computer science /Economics graduate .
Decked in her traditional attire with silver necklace and hand chain to match. She was full of smiles as she stood by the veranda , beckoned to this reporter and screamed f her voice ‘’ we have been expecting you for the interview, please come in’’.
In the living room was her husband in the same Ankara clothes , while her mother in law was reeling in an uproar aaughter as Bola cracked jokes. ’’That is how she has been cracking jokes , she is jovial and there is no dull moment here at all, ‘’ the mother in law of Bola told The Nation .As Bola effortlessly sat on the sofa chair, adjusted herself , she threw her shining silver- coloured clutches aside to tell the story of her life.
Narrating her story , she said’’ I was not born like, it is very unfortunate but what do I do? I have lost count of clutches I have used . That was how I found myself and this does not stop my ambition to become a Computer scientist in life’’, she told The Nation.
She went into labyrinth of history to narrate how she became crippled. ’My parents told me that a day before I got crippled my mother took me out as I was bubbling with life until I screamed out from my sleep at night on the 31st December, 1988 and the following day which was January 1, 1989 I could not walk again. As expected from those who were not Born Again then, I was taken to places like herbalists’ homes , churches and some other spiritual places looking for solution to my problem, later I was left with my grandmother in the village, in Iddo- Ekiti where I started my elementary school at the age of eight and started my secondary school at the age of 10 I left the village at the age of 14 for Lagos to stay with my parents.’’
She continued ‘’I spent three years in primary school, for they said I was brilliant and was given double promotion. Again when I got to secondary school I performed very well and only read up to JSS 3 and did not even complete it ,that means I did not spend up to three years in secondary school for I later enrolled in Coaching centres to study and when I did my senior secondary school exam[SS3] I came out in flying colours.’’, she said as she burst into laughter.
With her good result , she sat for JAMB and passed the exam , and later gained admission to Olabisi Onabanjo State University ,Ogun state[OSU] , Ago Iwoye in Ogun state in 2004 to study Computer science but her parents did not want her to continue and had wanted her to go to Obafemi Awolowo University,Ife[OAU] for two reasons, ‘’my father finished from OAU where he read Agric Economics and used to beat his chest that his children must also go to the institution . Secondly, he said the institution can be vouched for its good security and discipline . Later, I sat for another JAMB in 2005 , and picked my first choice, Obafemi Awolowo University , and my name was on the Vice Chancellor’s list, Dean’s List and Faculty’s list. But when I did not hear from them I went to the Dean’s office[now the outgoing V C.] ,Professor Fagborode to lodge complain to him but each time I went there I was always denied access to him .But as God would have it one day I saw him within the premises and complained bitterly to him , I told him my predicament .He looked at me and begged me that he would do something , he was such a nice and loving father , he was not annoyed the way I approached him, later I got the admission’’
Coping with lectures and climbing the staircases was tough and stressful but she proved smart to the surprise of the students and lecturers who were always amazed seeing her in the class earlier than others.
She however faced challenges along the line as she wakes up at 5am and gets to the lecture room for lecture which was slated for 10am , she said ‘’ many kept wondering how I was always the first student in the class to receive lecture, and they were always baffled how they always meet me in the class, some would even thought I was a spirit, but the fact is that I would wake up at 5am and take a bike to the main hall and then with my clutches get to the class by 5:30am. I always refused to be assisted for I would tell them that ‘’ if you assist me today will I see you here again tomorrow to assist me ?’Later a lot of students were asking me how I would cope in the Computer /engineering faculty but I maintain my stead.
Another challenge she had was of her result, ‘’when I was in Olabisi Onabanjo state University I had ‘A’ in all my courses through out my first semester . but to my surprise when I got to Ife it was a different thing entirely as I could not get what I was obtaining in OOSU. At OAU, I had a ridiculous second class lower while in Part one , then I was afraid and then buckled up and made a second class Upper and ,made 3.67.points.We are few who had such result.
When asked how he met her heartthrob, she smiled , shook her head and looked at her mother in-law’s face and then responded with a laughter ‘’it was just a miracle ,’’ she said. According to her , she met her husband in a library in Ogba where she went to read for her JAMB in 2004.’’I used to leave Ifako for Ogba to read and one day , a young man sat by my side , and I asked him to assist me solve a Chemistry problem I was battling with , he agreed and later we lost contact while a friend who knew him asked after me from him in Port Harcourt , despite the fact that I had changed my cell number he managed to get it and was calling me and even sending text messages to me , then as a lady I knew what he was up to and I too kept a sealed lip, watching ‘’.
However, her mother kept watching and advising her not to marry a disabled person like her, she said’’ My mother one day chased away a young disabled boy from me thinking he would have interest in me , she said she did not want me to marry a disabled husband like me but I had to tell her that we had no thought of that . Later my friendship with Michael blossomed and most of our discussion was based on Biblical topics .He was sending messages to me, The Titanic’’
On how he responded to his toasting, she said ‘’one day I went into the room and I heard a voice saying ‘’ Hold him, don’t let him go , the voice kept on repeating itself. Before then I used to pray to God to give me my own husband that will even love me more than myself , in fact we are three girls from my mother and my mother used to pray for me to be rich .One day I went into my room naked and prayed to God to give me an understanding man. The prayer started manifesting when three days to our matriculation Michael came to OAU , I was in Part One , then .It was then our love life started. And I can boast it that it was Michael who deflowered me .’’
Describing her wedding day, Bola said it was her happiest moment in life, ‘’ I told few people that it would be a parlour wedding but I was too happy when I saw over 500people who came for the wedding .We went to Agege Registry and later went to church …. To seal it up.
However, the husband Longe Olusegun Michael, a civil engineer in Port Harcourt described their union as one sealed from the above .He corroborated what his wife said about their first meeting and courtship, he added ‘’while I was looking for a tall, dark complexioned lady I thought I would marry ,and went into prayer session ,Bola’s name kept on ringing and appearing to me. While as a human being I asked God some questions on why she should give me such an handicapped lady .I went to meet those who are spiritually powerful than me and they too assisted me in prayer and to asked me to go on with my plan. But when I went to meet the dark complexioned tall girl I had in mind she told me she was not ready for marriage. And on December 26th 2005 I went to Bola and proposed to her, but she was confused and asked whether my people would accept her condition .Her parents too were sceptical of our relations until I convinced them that there is no problem.’’
The two lovebirds faced a lot of challenges as pressure mounted on Michael not to marry a physically challenged lady . According to Michael some of his family members did not want him to marry her because of her condition but he insisted that that is what he wanted .This was corroborated by his mother who said many people from her side too criticised her for allowing her son to marry a disabled girl.
The woman [Michael’s mother] declared : ’’It is true the couple faced a lot of challenges, my late husband criticised me for allowing Michael to bring home a disabled girl while some of his brothers too condemned the idea. But my son who is in USA had different opinion he advised us all to let the couple live their lives .He asked if I were the mother of the girl will I not be happy for her for getting married ? .In fact I was at the receiving end .But I thank God that the girl is a nice girl’’
What was the reaction of the mother of Michael ?, ‘’My reaction was simple , I kept on looking at all of them , I listened to their arguments and was just laughing .That is what my son wanted and we had no choice than to be supported .I love the girl, she is very simple and she smiles always .She cracks jokes always and I see nothing wrong with her at all, My prayer for her is to deliver twins for me to carry .I am very happy that she does not allow anybody to pity her , she does many things on her own and what else do I want ?’’
According to her , she met some handicapped ladies who were moved with emotions and wept on her shoulder thanking her for receiving Bola. ‘’One of them narrated how her fiancée family members seized her documents when the boy who proposed to her wanted her to go with him to America , they accused their son of bringing an handicapped home’’
The President Nigerian Association of Computer Science Students of OAU Branch,[09/10 set] Engineer Fadoju Oladokun describes the courage of Bola as rare for she does not want self pity ,’’this is a girl that does so many things on campus
She is always happy and free with everyone in the class, No wonder on her wedding day the place was jam packed with students’’.
As this reporter was leaving Bola threw another joke and everybody was reeling with laughter
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